#009: Presence

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the shift

What if there was something that could transform how you experienced everything?

Forgive the corniness of that statement, and hear me out.

With this something, you could drop into another dimension, simultaneously slowing down time and making it fly. You could deepen your connection with the world and with anyone, making any conversation instantly more fascinating. Your ability to master skills or understand concepts skyrockets.

And your creativity? Boundless. With enough of this stuff, even the paint-drying moments of life buzz with ecstasy.

By #9 of this newsletter, you're wise to my games (I'd hope) and realize this something is a state of mind. That state of mind is presence.

I genuinely wish I could stop right here – Be present, folks! That’s the key to a crazy, rich, and fulfilling life. 👋

I believe this. The part of me that's consciously thinking and writing about this deeply believes it.

Yet for how "cliche" or painfully obvious it might be, it's an incredibly challenging thing to put into practice.

It's one of those things many people say takes a whole lifetime to achieve.

But why the hell is that? Is it really that hard? Have we evolved to think about the past and future? To worry about our next meal? Maybe. Probably.

But I think that, when it comes down to it, the real reason it’s difficult is that being present is weird and terrifying.

Presence requires a high degree of trust in beliefs that go against how most of us think and live.

Trust that:

• We don't need to control or manipulate everything for life to work out for "the best"

• Feeding our emotions only erodes our peace and energy

• We already have everything we need to handle any moment

• We are never truly alone – not only are we more than enough, but the entire universe exists inside of us

• Living a life that's rooted in and driven by something much higher than fear (and all the emotions derivative of that: anger, resentment, suffering, etc) is possible

If this dissonance wasn't enough, there’s another layer making presence particularly tricky.

Presence means being present in your current reality, meaning your environment, your mind, and your body.

Perhaps you skimmed my intro where I made presence out to seem like an acid trip (or like that cool drug in Limitless that eventually kills you) and thought,"Hm, sounds nice, but definitely not my everyday experience!"

Practicing presence, especially in the beginning, has the possibility of feeling... not great. Sometimes, it really doesn't feel good, and often, it's just boring.

That's because being present means you're no longer distracting yourself from your subconscious and the spectrum of sensations inside of it. And that spectrum is wide, deep, and funky.

You start noticing the internal chaos. Strange, awkward, sometimes even painful tension accompanies a flow of internal commentary:

Ready for this day to be over. I need to be doing so much more. How do I get out of this conversation? Where's my phone? I don't care about anything. Is this right? This world is so f***ed up. I can't keep doing this. What am I doing? What am I eating later?

Presence is no longer keeping yourself at a distance from your internal stuff. The noise, the emotions, the disturbed energy you stored.

Remember our guy Flob and his crinkly layers?

A lot of the tension that's resurfacing is the baggage we've accumulated over living decades of life. Energy patterns we never let pass through because we either distracted ourselves from feeling it OR became way more invested in fixing the "external" problem triggering the internal discomfort.

(NOTE: Fixing problems can dissolve the discomfort temporarily, but because nothing in our external world is fixed, the unresolved fear lingers.)

In sum, presence is challenging because your mind and body are conspiring against you.

Kidding, although it can very much feel that way.

If you want to live with more presence and consistently plug into the “hi-def” version of life we all glimpse from time to time, it's possible.

Remind yourself of these two mindset shifts:

ONE. When it comes to the mental stuff —your thoughts, preconceptions, or expectations—lighten your grip. Suspend your belief that you know best. Trust life and in yourself (the self beyond the ego that has an opinion about everything) to naturally figure it out. Consider that life, with its comparably astronomical tenure, operates on an intelligence we can't understand. At least not on a cerebral level.

TL;DR: When in doubt, release control, or more accurately, the illusion of it. Transcend your mind, and trust beyond it.

TWO. And the body? When you're feeling the heat of anger, the weight of despair, or the disorienting restlessness of boredom, congratulate yourself. Being lucid enough to notice these sensations on a physical level is no small feat.

Then, remind yourself this sensation is temporary. Quite literally, what you’re experiencing is disturbed energy trying to pass through—and it will unless you disrupt it with the closest screen.

Think of this "learning to become present" process like turning the spigot of a very old, underused faucet. At first, the liquid might look brownish, maybe even sludgy. It won't inspire confidence.

But the longer you make it a practice to sit and stay in your body, the more the color lifts and clears. Discomfort will come and go and come back again, but relaxing behind it will eventually reveal a transfixing brilliance. (Over time, you will experience this transformation repeatedly, and your trust in staying present will strengthen.)

TL;DR: Emotions are disturbed energy in motion. If you don't get involved, they'll pass through.

Admittedly, I’m nowhere near as present as I hope to be. That’s why I wrote this issue.

I wrote it because If there was only one thing I could rewire my mind to embody, knowing it would make life more than okay—knowing I’d truly live—it would be to stay present in the here and now.

With presence, the spectrum of life expands and deepens. It's entrancing, sometimes jarring, and inexplicably beautiful.

To be in flow with life is to remind yourself again and again about what's real and what's not. Until one day, there you are.

Don't give up,

Silvi

a question for readers

As I work on The Undoing, there's a question that's always in the back of my mind: What can I create to make these perspectives more powerful and enduring? I.e. It's one thing to read about them and an entirely different world to experience them.

There’s one idea that keeps coming up for me, and I’d love to get your input.